Author Archives: Chelsie

About Chelsie

Mommy. Beauty product whore. Plastic lawn flamingo enthusiast. Nosy neighbor. One day novelist.

(Mostly) Wordless Monday

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Posted in No one else will think this is funny | 1 Comment

One Pink Line

I, as a perpetual and professional student, am no stranger to volunteering as a guinea pig for various and sundry educational experiments. I’ve been poked, prodded, scraped, impressioned, dyed (as in, dyed GREEN), and cut. None of it scares me. … Continue reading

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Posted in No one else will think this is funny | 1 Comment

TRM Gets an Award (and the Peasants Rejoice)

Y’all, I have the best friends. Some of them even think that my sarcasm and gift for using creative four-letter words when I talk about my child deserves to be rewarded. My very best-good friend Michelle from The Barenaked Critic … Continue reading

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I breaded the cat tonight.

So, I got bored today and then this happened: For those of you who live under a rock, this is breading, and it’s the hottest new internet meme. For crazy cat ladies, any way. Gawker says: Forget planking. All the … Continue reading

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Posted in Cat Lady Confessions, Internetland | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

UPDATED: The Break In

It’s something you never think will happen to you. Your entire life has been spent in a cocoon of privilege, in a land of minivans and green soccer fields and semi-suburban tranquility. You’ve never known honest to God, piss your … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, Heavy, Red, Stories | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Five Things You Thought You Knew About Moms Who Blog (but are completely false)

I’m a mom. I’m also a blogger. But I’m not really a mommy blogger. A quick peek at my archives would lead a lot of people to think that I’m full of shit, just like the time your elementary math … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family, I should probably just apologize ahead of time, Internetland, Would it kill you to comment? | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Dear Three Year-Old

Happy birthday! Around this time in 2009, my body was forcibly evicting your from the only home you had ever known, and you weren’t happy about it. (I don’t blame you, though. You had it good in there, what with … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, Family | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Naked Man

I don’t know how mornings go in your house, but around here we have a little routine. When the childling wakes up at an ungodly hour that I dare not speak aloud, he bellows one of three things that are … Continue reading

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Posted in Boo, No one else will think this is funny, Not nearly as offensive as it sounds, Weirdness | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

2011 in review: Part 2

Hitting publish on Part 1 of the other day’s post made me realize that if I’m going to stick to my resolution of writing more this year, I certainly want didn’t want to start 2012 by throwing up a cut … Continue reading

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2011 in review: Part 1

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys took a look back at Three Ring Mom in 2011 (which is kind of great, because now I don’t have to make my own year in review listicle thing) and this is what they came … Continue reading

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Posted in Nerdness | Leave a comment